Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I'm famous-- give me a kidney!

Ok, I've seen how Miss Natalie Cole worked the system and got a kidney by appearing on Larry King. Now I've created a blog for the rest of us, where we can declare our notoriety and have the kidneys just roll in for those of us that need a replacement organ to...um... live.

Let me tell you how this works. If you are a chronic kidney disease patient who's tired of having celebrities go to the front of the line because they use their famewhoredom to get a transplant, you can log in to this blog and post an "Introduce Yourself...alright...Introduce Yourself...alright."

I'll get us started by telling you why I'm famous and should have people offer me their kidneys.

When I was six years old, I entered a citywide talent show offered by the department of Parks and Recreation in Fort Worth, Texas. I was a solo baton-twirling entry. I ended up winning the whole sha-bang-- and I wasn't even old enough to enter the contest-- you had to be seven! (My mom was a bit chagrined when I revealed my age during my newspaper interview, hehehe). I won a trophy and got to have my picture taken while holding a chimpanzee (don't ask!) for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

There ya go. I'm a championship baton twirler. That's why I'm famous and deserve a kidney.

But wait! There's more! I was also in the newspaper 25 years later-- and no, I wasn't still twirling. My family was chosen as "family of the week" for our local newspaper. I'm such a dweeb, though, I sent in a picture of us in pilgrim outfits for our family portrait. Squee!

Yes, I am doubly famous, so I should get TWO kidney transplants. Take that, Natalie Cole!

Ok, I've gotten us started. Now you share why you're famous so you can get your very own kidney transplant.